& some call it insanity.

My favorite summer reading adventure #nowreading #books...

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 22:37:38 -0400

My favorite summer reading adventure #nowreading #books #gonewiththewind #gwtw

mazerin: These are from a book called Disorder in the American...

Mon, 06 May 2013 01:54:28 -0400

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

all-things-bright-and-beyootiful: By ►i.Anton

Mon, 06 May 2013 01:44:50 -0400

all-things-bright-and-beyootiful:

By ►i.Anton

catboatventure: Stephen Colbert and Stephen King holding hands...

Sun, 05 May 2013 16:21:39 -0400

catboatventure:

Stephen Colbert and Stephen King holding hands in matching sweaters.

Proxy, look!

xdroox: toinfinityandbeyonce: me on my way to steal your...

Sun, 05 May 2013 16:15:20 -0400

xdroox:

toinfinityandbeyonce:

me on my way to steal your man

“In case of an emergency this airplane is designed with 8 exits located around you.”

lagio: CRYING

Sun, 05 May 2013 16:14:47 -0400

lagio:

CRYING

historicporn: Women truck drivers. 1942.

Sun, 05 May 2013 16:07:53 -0400

historicporn:

Women truck drivers.

1942.

Photo

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:30:57 -0400

dat-patriot: i-love-my-fandoms: wearesorryfortheinconvenience: simfected: wearesorryfortheinconve...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:23:17 -0400

dat-patriot:

i-love-my-fandoms:

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

simfected:

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

today i said to my friend “i haven’t had a go-gurt in a really long time” AND HE LOOKED REALLY LOST?? AND I EXPLAINED TO HIM WHAT A GO-GURT WAS AND HE SAID “OH IN CANADA WE CALL THOSE TUBES”

TUBE S

BUT ITS YOGURT ON THE GO

CANADA IM SO S ICK OF UR SHIT

…we call them frubes in the UK

this is the end of my life

IT’S OK WE CALL THE GO-GURTS IN AUSTRALIA TOO

HIGH-FIVE, AUSTRALIA

#fuckit

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:01:47 -0400

#fuckit

How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:12:29 -0400

How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.

Photo

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:32:59 -0400

Photo

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 13:29:26 -0400

rarely-pure-never-simple: thecornercoffeeshoppe: hickshannary: ...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 13:47:35 -0400

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.

Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.

This could SAVE a life.

nightowlauthor: What I do with my books when no one is...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 14:07:56 -0400

nightowlauthor:

What I do with my books when no one is watching.

Photo

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 14:07:51 -0400

cielxbassy: everydayimfangirlin: bloodphoenix: monkeysaysficus...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 14:04:01 -0400

cielxbassy:

everydayimfangirlin:

bloodphoenix:

monkeysaysficus:

hey, whatcha doing? are these the internets? can I internet too?

damn it moon moon not now

“We’ll always have Paris.” - Casablanca (1942)

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:09:26 -0400

“We’ll always have Paris.” - Casablanca (1942)

Photo

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:08:21 -0400

Photo

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:07:03 -0400